Two Ethics Quests from Ask A Manager

May. 27th, 2025 10:42 am
minoanmiss: Minoan version of Egyptian scribal goddess Seshat (Seshat)
[personal profile] minoanmiss posting in [community profile] agonyaunt
I am having trouble including the link, due to not being able to see properly. sorry about that.

1. Manager husband is cheating with a much younger employee Read more... )

2. My employee has terrible attendance issues … in this economy? Read more... )
full_metal_ox: A National Geographic cover mock-up, with three marigolds in an analogous orange-yellow color harmony. (Nature)
[personal profile] full_metal_ox posting in [community profile] common_nature
Taken last year, this is pictorial tax for my previous post; this little guy was one of a family headquartered in a vacant lot along one of my habitual shopping routes.





Note the ropes cordoning the space off, as well as the designated perch set up for the owls. In the upper background, across the path, is another staked-off owl nesting site; unusually for birds of prey, Burrowing Owls are social animals who sometimes form communities of multiple families.

(If I’ve slipped into Earnest School Essay Mode, it’s because this is stuff I myself am very much newly learning.)

page of drawings by enthyrea (SFW)

May. 27th, 2025 03:58 pm
mific: (The Pitt)
[personal profile] mific posting in [community profile] fanart_recs
Fandom: The Pitt
Characters/Pairing/Other Subject: Dr. Robby, Heather Collins, Samira Mohan, Frank Langdon, Dana Evans, Mel King, Dennis Whitaker, Trinity Santos
Content Notes/Warnings: none
Medium: digital art
Artist on DW/LJ: n/a
Artist Website/Gallery: enthyrea on tumblr
Why this piece is awesome: Great drawings of several of the characters, very lively and with spot-on body language. Santos and Whitaker are chibis!
Link: page of drawings
mific: Sepia pic john sheppard and rodney mckay leaning heads together, serious (McShep - intense)
[personal profile] mific posting in [community profile] fancake
Fandom: Stargate Atlantis
Characters/Pairings: John Sheppard/Rodney McKay, Jeannie Miller, Kaleb Miller, Madison Miller
Rating: Teen
Length: 5753
Content Notes: no AO3 warnings apply
Creator Links: sardonicsmiley on AO3
Themes: Angst with a happy ending, Family, Established relationship

Summary: Sooner or later, Rodney just gets under your skin.

Reccer's Notes:
The angst in this one isn't romantic, as John and Rodney's relationship (shown indirectly) is solid. No, this is about the fraught relationship Rodney has with his sister, Jeannie, who often gives him a hard time in canon and teases or belittles him. In this story we see a series of visits back to Earth where John and Rodney stay at Jeannie's, with John increasingly fed up with how Jeannie treats Rodney and finally letting her know. There's some very nice steely-eyed John here, and Rodney is both a BAMF and absolutely there for his family. The ending is happy, with Jeannie finally fully supportive in return. A great read.

Fanwork Links: How the Millers Relaxed and Learned to Love Rodney (With A Little Help from John Sheppard)

New neighbors!

May. 26th, 2025 12:54 pm
full_metal_ox: A National Geographic cover mock-up, with three marigolds in an analogous orange-yellow color harmony. (Nature)
[personal profile] full_metal_ox posting in [community profile] common_nature
Lizards have been somewhat fewer in the apartment complex than last year, and the other night I learned a possible reason: a Burrowing Owl (Athene cunicularia) couple have set up housekeeping on the back lawn next door! (No pictorial tax as yet: their nest, less than five feet from the curb, overlooks a back alley heavily travelled by garbage, service, and delivery vehicles as well as human pedestrians—meaning that they’re probably experiencing botherance enough without amateur paparazzi. (1)

Burrowing Owls are regarded as local mascots and rigorously protected here; standard procedure upon discovering an inhabited burrow is to erect a little designated perch for the owls and cordon it off, crime-scene style, halting any human construction until the young have left the nest.

(1) Rule of thumb is that if the owls are reacting to your presence, you’re too close; the risk of attracting gawkers is one reason that doxxing Burrowing Owls nesting on private property is frowned upon around here. Schools, museums, and other such facilities, however, will encourage on-site nesting, observable by remote cam.

I’m finding varying accounts of how capable they are of digging their own burrows, but certainly the owls prefer the convenience of found housing when they can get it, not only taking over burrows constructed by other animals but occupying such human artifacts as PVC pipes; it’s quite possible to build artificial burrows to attract them.

Heron takes flight

May. 24th, 2025 05:09 pm
autobotscoutriella: a green forest with the light shining through the trees (sunshine forest)
[personal profile] autobotscoutriella posting in [community profile] common_nature
I accidentally walked up on this lovely heron at the lake today (US Midwest, small man-made lake that just happens to be close enough for me to walk to), and he was obliging enough to stand still until I had a chance to get out the camera! I see a lot of birds out there every year (right now we also have ducklings, a small geese population, and a lot of red-winged blackbirds), but this is the closest I've ever gotten to one of the herons, and I thought this community might like to see him.

a gray and black heron taking flight from a lake

Fairly sure it's a great blue heron, though I'm not a bird-identifying expert.
conuly: (Default)
[personal profile] conuly posting in [community profile] agonyaunt
DEAR ABBY: My dear friend, "Sandra," is married with two children. She and her husband have a 4-year-old son together and another son from her husband's first marriage who is 14. The 14-year-old's life is tough, much like Cinderella's. Sandra treats him very badly. She has him doing all of the housework in their home, belittles him constantly and is very vocal about how much she dislikes him. Her 4-year-old can do no wrong.

The older boy's mother has weekends with her son, but Sandra is open about not liking her either. I feel bad about how the boy is treated and want to talk to Sandra about it, but I don't know how to bring up the sensitive subject and maintain my relationship with the family. Her husband is completely on Sandra's side, so he does nothing to help the boy have a better life. Can you offer any advice? -- FEELING FOR HIM IN WASHINGTON


Read more... )

Fujikage Seiju (1880-1966)

May. 23rd, 2025 08:19 pm
nnozomi: (pic#16721026)
[personal profile] nnozomi posting in [community profile] senzenwomen
Fujikage Seiju was born in 1880 in Niigata on the north coast; her birth name was Uchida Yai or Yae (she had an unreasonable number of names throughout her life). Her father was a sushi chef, and it may have been through his catering connections that she was adopted early on into the geisha quarters, where she learned to dance and play the shamisen at an early age, as well as becoming literate at a terakoya. She made her debut as a dancing girl at age thirteen.

When she was nineteen, she went to Tokyo to study with the Kabuki actress Ichikawa Kumehachi, taking the stage name Uchida Shizue; she also studied poetry with Sasaki Nobutsuna, along with Hasegawa Shigure among others. In 1903 she appeared with Kumehachi in a production at the theater run by Kawakami Otojiro and his wife Sadayakko; advised thereafter to switch to Japanese dance, she became a disciple of Fujima Kan’emon II. In 1909 she was given the right to call herself Fujima Shizue. Unable to support herself as a dancer alone, she also worked as a geisha under the name of Shintomoeya Yaeji, becoming known as “the literary geisha.”

In 1910, at age thirty, Shizue met the writer Nagai Kafu, then a professor of literature at Keio University. They had a child, who was adopted out, and subsequently married in 1914; however, Kafu’s persistent infidelity drove Shizue to leave him within a year of the marriage, starting an off-again on-again relationship which was to last until their final parting in 1937. Kafu made use of her love life in his writing.

In 1917, she founded the Fujikage-kai dance study group, in effect a production company; originally a joint effort with two other disciples of Kan’emon, it quickly became her own group, and she gave up her geisha work two years later to concentrate on performing and producing a new form of Japanese dance, including new explorations of dance in folklore and children’s songs. Collaborators with the Fujikage-kai included luminaries of the era in various fields, such as the artist Wada Eisaku, the writer Kitahara Hakushu, the composer Yamada Kosaku (younger brother of Tsuneko Gauntlett), the singer Sato Chiyako, the critic Katsumoto Seiichiro (also a lover of Shizue’s, until he fell in love with the novelist Yamada Junko), and the actresses Okada Yoshiko and Mizutani Yaeko.

In 1928, Shizue took the Siberian Railway to Europe, where she visited London in company with the writer Yoshiya Nobuko and performed at the Théâtre Femina in Paris. Thereafter, her Fujikage-kai performances incorporated European music and dance influences as well as traditional Japanese ones such as nagauta. In 1931 her erstwhile teacher refused to let her use the Fujima name any more (they were to mend relations in 1940), and she took the name Fujikage Shizue, also leaving the Japanese Dance Association.

During the war she was compelled to conform to patriotic dance themes such as Japan’s theoretical 2600th national anniversary. She fled to her birth prefecture of Niigata to avoid the worst of the postwar chaos, returning to Tokyo in 1946 to continue the Fujikage-kai productions; she also performed with her disciples for the Occupation army. In 1957 she retired from active performance, passing on the name of Fujikage Shizue to her disciple Fujikage Miyoe and taking the name Seiju instead (“quiet tree” as opposed to Shizue, “quiet branch”).

After Nagai Kafu’s death in 1959, she made a commemorative habit of eating katsudon, his favorite dish, on the 30th of each month. She received numerous national honors before her death in 1966 at the age of eighty-six. The Fujikage-ryu modern dance style remains an official institution today; the title of Fujikage Seiju was passed on to the third generation, her granddaughter by blood (birth name Sado Ichiko), who died just one month ago as of this posting.

Sources
Nakae

SGA: Old Soldiers Die Hard by Sholio

May. 23rd, 2025 09:09 pm
mific: Sepia pic john sheppard and rodney mckay leaning heads together, serious (McShep - intense)
[personal profile] mific posting in [community profile] fancake
Fandom: Stargate Atlantis
Characters/Pairings: Genfic, John Sheppard & Rodney McKay, Original female character
Rating: G
Length: 8103
Content Notes: no AO3 warnings apply
Creator Links: Sholio on AO3, Sholio's own site City on the Ocean's Edge
Themes: Angst with a happy ending, Friendship, Families of choice

Summary: The old guy in Room 30B was about the most disagreeable human being that the nurses had ever met. But he did get visitors, including a retired Air Force Colonel.

Reccer's Notes: This is told through the outsider POV of a young volunteer nurse at a retirement home, writing out what happened - for herself, but she tells it as though talking to her mother, who died some time before. Because of that, it's not at first as angsty as it might be, as she doesn't initially like or care about the cantankerous old guy in room 30B. That changes a little as the story progresses, and of course, we feel the angst even if she doesn't, knowing this is Rodney who's old, increasingly frail, and basically dying, while John, not quite as aged and infirm, watches helplessly. Despite herself, the young volunteer gets invested in Rodney, partly as she has enough spirit to stand up to him, which he likes. Also, before he gets really ill he tutors her in his abrasive way as she's had a difficult life and is studying for her high school diploma hoping to eventually go to med school - but until Rodney helps, she's not doing too well. Eventually there's a happy ending, but not before those closest to Rodney like John, Sam, and Elizabeth have grieved for him and come close to despair. Luckily, Teyla and Ronon are on the case, back in Pegasus. The ending is very satisfying, where we see what becomes of Annie, the volunteer nurse who cared for Rodney and put up with him at his worst.

Fanwork Links: Old Soldiers Die Hard
mific: (The Pitt)
[personal profile] mific posting in [community profile] fanart_recs
Fandom: The Pitt
Characters/Pairing/Other Subject: Frank Langdon
Content Notes/Warnings: none
Medium: digital art
Artist on DW/LJ: n/a
Artist Website/Gallery: hawkmothmoon on tumblr
Why this piece is awesome: An excellent portrait of Frank Langdon looking a little shifty - perfect likeness, lovely use of highlights.
Link: Terrible bedside manner, GREAT hair tho
conuly: (Default)
[personal profile] conuly posting in [community profile] agonyaunt
1. Dear Carolyn: My mom basically despises my boyfriend, “Tom,” because he didn’t graduate from college and works a blue-collar job. She is so rude to him, we can’t even be around her. She defends this by saying that looking at us together makes her feel disgusted, she can’t help how she feels, and she’s being as nice as she can given the intensity of her feelings. Tom actually cried after our last dinner with my parents.

Tom and I are 24, are independently financially stable and have lived together for six months — another source of my mother’s angst, but I suspect if I were “shacking up” with a more “eligible” bachelor, she would deal just fine. Although I am beyond furious at her treatment of Tom, I don’t want to lose her. Our relationship no longer resembles the mother-daughter bond we used to have. I’m also scared about what this is doing to my parents’ marriage. My dad is saying things to her in a tone I’ve never heard before — telling her that her behavior is unacceptable, that she needs to stop. She just gets defensive and yells at him. I don’t want my relationship to be their undoing.

I love Tom and could see us getting engaged in a year or two. However, I’m actually thinking about breaking up with him over this, although I know evil shouldn’t triumph. But I feel like he’s on one side, and on the other side is my relationship with my mom AND my parents’ relationship AND the potential to have it all if I meet a college-educated suitor. (I feel like a horrible person saying this.)


Read more... )

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2. Dear Annie: I am a 26-year-old woman deeply in love with someone my parents can't stand. He's not what they envisioned for me; he's rough around the edges, has tattoos, rides a motorcycle and works with his hands for a living. My parents like clean-cut, college-educated types in suits, and he's the complete opposite.

Yes, he has a bit of a "bad boy" past. He's made some mistakes in his younger years -- got into trouble, partied too hard, even had a brush with the law. But that was years ago. Since then, he's turned his life around. He's steady, loyal, hardworking, and treats me with more respect and care than anyone I've ever dated.

Despite all that, my parents won't give him a chance. They're polite when he's around, but I can tell they're just waiting for me to wake up and realize he's "not good enough." They constantly drop hints about finding someone "more suitable" or "more stable," and it's starting to wear me down. I feel caught in the middle -- between a man I love and parents I don't want to disappoint.

I'm not blind to his flaws, but I believe in the man he is now. How do I move forward when the people I've always looked to for support can't accept the person I've chosen? Am I being naive for thinking love is enough, or are my parents judging him unfairly? -- Torn Between Love and Loyalty


Read more... )

RIP (Read In Progress) Wednesday

May. 21st, 2025 02:02 pm
spiralsheep: Sheep wearing an eyepatch (Default)
[personal profile] spiralsheep posting in [community profile] booknook
What are you reading?

Murderbot community discussing the books and tv series at [community profile] murderbotbookclub.

Meddling parents and inlaws

May. 20th, 2025 09:13 pm
conuly: (Default)
[personal profile] conuly posting in [community profile] agonyaunt
1. Dear Eric: We are retired grandparents to 7-year-old twins who live close by. We are delighted to help with kiddo chauffeuring, grocery shopping or anything else needed by two very hard-working parents.

Today after dropping off groceries, my wife noted that the refrigerator, in her opinion, had an unpleasant odor and was very quick to share her opinion with my son-in-law. She is also rather critical of many of his habits. And her opinions are not without merit. But my mother always said, "less said, better mended."

When I say to my wife, "too much mother-in-law," I catch hell.

I think something has to be said to mend this or should I just go back to my corner?

– Too Many Opinions


Read more... )

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2. DEAR ABBY: I lost my daughter to cancer five years ago. She was only 36. She left behind a husband and three children, ages 3, 5 and 7. While my daughter and her husband worked, I was their "nanny granny" five days a week. I would also take them overnight on weekends. More often than not, I had more waking hours with my grands than their parents did. We were extremely close and bonded.

After my daughter passed, my son-in-law asked me to move in to help. I was in a position to do so, and it went OK the first year. Then some cracks began to show, and we ended up having a huge fight over money (though it wasn't REALLY about money). After I said some horrible things about him on Facebook, he took the grands away from me. It has been two years, and I have begged his forgiveness to no avail. What can I do? -- MISSING THEM IN MARYLAND


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3. DEAR ABBY: I have a full-time job and am in pretty good health. I have one son, "Brian," who is married and has three children. My problem is that my son is often rude to me. I was a single mom who raised him on my own. I thought I was a pretty good mother. His wife is super sensitive to any comment I make and finds fault with almost anything I do. They spend a lot of time with her family and exclude me.

If I make a comment about Brian's wife, he gets mad and calls me hateful or rude. I have been good to both of them, helping in any way I can, yet they do not take that into consideration. Brian and I get into arguments over this. Sometimes I have gone overboard and told him he needs to figure out what his problem is with me. He never tells me why he behaves like this. They don't visit me or bring the children over. They say they are busy, but they always find time to visit her family, their cousins, etc.

Must I give up on having any kind of relationship with them? I love my son and would like to be a part of his life, but I don't think I should accept him being critical of me all the time no matter what I do. If I try to talk objectively with his wife, she says I'm trying to start something. Please help. -- HEARTBROKEN IN GEORGIA

Read more... )

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4. DEAR HARRIETTE: My family and I are gearing up for our annual family vacation. My oldest child is in a relationship and has been badgering me about wanting to bring his girlfriend. I would prefer not to bring her along on an intimate weeklong trip because I feel that her clothing can be rather revealing, and she doesn't seem shy about PDA. I have two much younger children, and I don't think they need to be exposed to that on their summer getaway. Besides, I don't plan to pay for some sort of couples' trip while the rest of us are trying to catch up and bond.

I shared my stance with my son and explained that it's OK for some things to be family-only, and he's now refusing to join us unless I extend an invitation to his girlfriend. My son is already away at college, so his younger siblings really cherish the time they spend with him on these vacations. I'm torn here. Are my concerns unreasonable? -- Vacation Ultimatum


Read more... )

Estrangement!

May. 20th, 2025 08:00 pm
conuly: (Default)
[personal profile] conuly posting in [community profile] agonyaunt
1. Dear Eric: My brother has children with whom I was extremely close when he and his wife got divorced in 1989. He never supported his kids, never paid child support and drank away everyone’s money, including $20,000 in rehabs that my parents paid for.

My brother asked me if he could borrow $5,000, and he would start making payments to pay it back. For the sake of my niece and nephew, I loaned him the money. Unbeknownst to me, my brother was borrowing money from everyone in the family. Soon, everyone in the family found out what he was doing and cut him off.

Fast-forward to three years ago (I’m now 56, and my brother is 72), he reached out to me again. Not to borrow or pay back money, but to reconnect. Through our limited conversations, he keeps asking for my address or an invite to my house. I never extended the offer, and I did not give him my address.

Brother recently told me he has been sending $200 to $300 every couple of weeks to my niece, now 40, a divorced mother of one son. He is also putting several hundred dollars a month in a trust for her 9-year-old son. I told him, on several occasions, since he has money to spare, he can send me money each month to pay me back. He laughs and blows me off.

I’m extremely ticked off that he disregards the sacrifice I made.

I blew off my brother and the $5,000 years ago and I don’t care to rekindle relationships that have been dead for 35 years. What I want is the $5,000 repaid. I have two kids in college and I’m partially retired. I’m not charging him interest for the past 35 years, but I should. I don’t think I can be blunter with my request, nor because of the time that has passed, would I have legal recourse.

If you have suggestions, I would appreciate the help.

– 5k Would Make My Day


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2. Dear Annie: I never thought I would be in this position, but I have become estranged from my adult daughter. We used to be incredibly close. When she was younger, we had long talks late into the night, and we would laugh until we cried on road trips. I was there for every heartbreak, every success, and I truly believed we had a bond that would last a lifetime.

But over the past few years, things began to shift. She started pulling away and setting boundaries I did not fully understand. Small disagreements turned into long silences. One day, she stopped returning my calls. I reached out with cards, messages and birthday gifts for the grandchildren, but I rarely get a response. She has told me she needs space, but she will not say why or what I did to cause this distance.

I have apologized more than once for anything I might have done to hurt her, even though I do not know exactly what it is. I feel like I am grieving someone who is still alive. I miss her every single day, and the pain of being cut off from my grandchildren is almost too much to bear. I see photos online and feel like I am watching their lives go on without me.

I want to respect her wishes, but I am also holding on to hope that one day we might reconnect. Is there anything I can do to begin to repair this relationship, or do I need to accept that she may be gone from my life for good? -- Grieving the Distance


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3. Dear Annie: I'm struggling with how to move forward after my adult daughter, "Rachel," cut me off two years ago. We used to be close. I raised her as a single mom after her father left, and we leaned on each other through a lot. Things started to change after she got married. Her husband, though polite, has always kept a distance from me. I tried to respect that, but honestly I felt pushed out. It feels like the beginning of their relationship marked the end of ours.

Our last real conversation ended badly. I had asked if they would consider spending part of the holidays with me instead of always going to his family. Rachel got defensive and said I was making her choose. I said something in the heat of the moment that I regret: I told her she'd understand when she had kids of her own. She hasn't spoken to me since.

I've sent birthday cards, texts and an apology letter, but she never replies. I don't know if I should keep reaching out or give her space. I miss her terribly, but I also don't want to keep reopening the wound. How do I respect her boundaries without giving up hope? -- Left Behind in Louisville


Read more... )

Visiting Swan

May. 19th, 2025 12:12 pm
yourlibrarian: Abed Cool Cool Cool (OTH-Abed Cool - icosm)
[personal profile] yourlibrarian posting in [community profile] common_nature


I've only seen one here twice before, once in the months after I moved in, and again a few years ago. Unfortunately just as this time, I had been on my way to the grocery, and I assumed I'd have time to take photos when I came home. Which I didn't because it was gone. Read more... )
OSZAR »